


realize

by steveeology



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Crush, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Realizing Feelings, clintasha is mentioned, idiots to lovers, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-21
Updated: 2019-10-21
Packaged: 2020-12-31 07:47:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21120023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/steveeology/pseuds/steveeology
Summary: There was something about Steve Rogers that makes you feel, dare you say it, so goddamn uncomfortable.





	realize

**Author's Note:**

> Summary: There was something about Steve Rogers that makes you feel, dare you say it, so goddamn uncomfortable.
> 
> Words: 1.8k+
> 
> Warnings: none so far
> 
> A/N: this is for @the-canary ’s lyrical mini challenge on tumblr!! My prompt was “please don’t cross it/the distance between our lips is still 50 cm.” this fic is kind of like a short journey to realizations of feelings (bc i cant afford to make a series yet lol). idk how to feel abt this overall but if you ever wanna know how i catch feelings, this fic will explain it to ya lmao.
> 
> feedback is welcomed and appreciated!!

There was something about Steve Rogers that makes you feel, dare you say it, _so goddamn uncomfortable._

Maybe it was his smile. Those pearly whites that would’ve made a dentist proud. His whole face turns into some kind of blinding light when he does that annoying grin. Sometimes you feel the urge to punch him in his perfect teeth.

Or probably it was his eyes. They’re _too blue_ for you. The way it sparkles when he talks to his friends or when he asks you how your day was makes something in you rise.

Was it his hair? That perfectly tousled blonde hair that he always runs his hand through? Isn’t it annoying how it looks like a golden halo that matches his angelic self? Especially when the sun shines down on him? Ugh, it’s so _ridiculous_.

How about his sharp jawline? His voice that makes you warm but gives you chills at the same time? His laugh that makes your chest feel fuzzy? His outrageous shoulder-waist ratio? His plump and pinkish lips? What about the fact that he always go out of his way to do something nice for someone? And how he always stands up for what is right? Surely it’s how he’s always so punctual and hates to be a bother to anyone, right?

He’s just too nice. And it irks you _so bad_.

You don’t mean to be rude. To admit, you feel guilty for having thoughts like this, especially when Steve’s been nothing but a sweetheart. You don’t hate him, you just hate the way he makes you feel. The way he smiles at you, the way his eyes seem to be brighter when they meet yours, when he greets you enthusiastically – just everything he does seems to strike every nerve of yours.

“Am I a bad person for suddenly being so annoyed with my best friend?” You asked Natasha, who sat across you. You both decided to grab some snacks after rounding the mall for baby clothes. “It’s like, whenever I see Steve, I just go ‘_ughughughugh_.’"

"I’m annoyed with Clint sometimes.” Natasha replied after taking a bite from her sandwich. “But we’re still best friends. Honestly, if I’m not annoyed with Clint, then something is wrong with either me or him.”

“Well, it’s _Clint_, and his name is the alternative spelling for _annoying_.”

Natasha laughed at that. “Damn right.”

“But this is Steve we’re talking about. He’s _far_ from Clint’s kind of annoying. And I just… I get this crazy feeling in my chest whenever I see him. I’ve never felt that way before. Not to him.”

Natasha looked at you for a long time, studying your features and taking in what you said. She leaned in closer, and a smile appeared from her face. “You like Steve.”

“What? No, of course not.” You said immediately. “I mean, I like him as a friend, even though I’m feeling different lately. But we’re strictly platonic. Plus, who would be annoyed with someone they like?”

Natasha only smirked at you little rant, a smirk that tells you _'I know more than you do._’

She leaned against her chair and shrugged. “Say what you want to say, but trust me, I’ve been through that feeling. With Clint.” Her face visibly softens at the mention of her lover’s name. She caressed her baby bump. “Look where it got me.”

* * *

Everyday, when work is through, Steve always volunteers to walk you home. Sometimes you’d grab dinner and some ice cream. Most of the time, you two would talk about your day.

Tonight, somewhere in the middle of your stories, he laughed and threw an arm around your shoulders, a habit of his.

Because that’s a normal best friend thing, right?

Then _why_ are you feeling electricity beneath your skin? _Why_ is there a fuzzy feeling in your chest? _Why_ are you finding yourselr leaning into his warmth?

Ugh, you’re annoyed again.

“Steve, y'know I can go home by my own, right?” You told him out of the blue.

He raised a brow, taken by surprise with your words. “I know. But you also know thay my route passes yours too. And you never complained before. Something wrong?”

“No, of course not! I just feel like you spend a lot of time with me… N-not in a bad way though!”

Steve titled his head. “Okay?” He stretched.

You sighed. “What I mean to say is, you spend your time with me when there’s a lot of people out there who wants to hang out with you.”

“No I don’t?”

“Yes you do.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Yes you do! For example, last week, you turned down Thor’s invitation to watch a baseball game with your favorite team in it.”

“Because it was the same time as our Friday Movie Marathon.”

“But you _love_ baseball! And Thor volunteered to treat you! It would’ve been a cool bro moment.”

“It’s fine.” Steve waved off. “I can always watch it on YouTube, just like what I’ve always done. It was just one time.”

“How about the bowling thing Wanda and Vision did and you didn’t go because you were too busy taking care of me since I was sick? And the BBQ thing Tony held but you also didn’t go because you helped me go through my errands at work?”

He shrugged. “I have priorities to set.”

Fuzzy feelings are back at it again. “I’m your priority now?”

Steve looked at you like you grew three heads. “Um, is that even a question you’re supposed to ask? Of course you are my priority! You’re my best friend.”

“Yeah, and so is Bucky, Sam, Wanda, Tony, Natasha–”

“Hey, hey,” _fuck_, he is using that soft voice on you now, huh? The one that gets you all mushy-wushy on the inside? _Man_, he’s good at this. “Y/N. I’ve done some things for them too. 'Cause they’re my friends. But just believe me when I say I am ready to drop anything for you. You deserve that.”

Okay, real talk though. Is it possible to curse someone because they’re so sweet and kind?

Steve continued. "You’re my best buddy after all.” He winked.

_Shit._

* * *

**Steve**: how long are you going to be there? :(

**You**: it’s just one week, you big baby 😂

You went on a business trip since it was required from your boss. You were supposed to decline because you didn’t want to go, but the offer of promotion was too good to pass up. Steve even convinced you to go for the sake of the future of your career. This trip was honestly his influence.

(Another annoying thing about Steve? He looks like he always knows what’s good for you. And he _does_. And he’ll do his best to convince you and you’d listen to him because _damn it_, he’s always right.)

But here he was. You’ve just arrived to your hotel, and he was already asking you about when you’re coming back.

**Steve**: a week?! u r going to skip our friday movie marathons and our saturday brunch :(

**Steve**: now i have to go with sam and bucky and watch them fight over a carton of milk

**You**: 😂 aww it’s your quality time with them! dont be too upset haha

**You**: don’t you like the idea of you being free from me? 😂

You meant it as a joke, you always do. But there was a little bit of insecurity that lingered in the question. But Steve’s reply was instant.

**Steve**: nope, i absolutely dont like you being away from me

**Steve**: I don’t mean it in a possessive way

**Steve**: you’re your own person and i’m really proud of you

**Steve**: i guess what i’m trying to say is that my days arent complete without you

You took a deep breath, your heart beating wildly underneath your palm. Thank goodness Steve couldn’t see your face right now. It would’ve been embarrassing to let him see the effect he has on you. You didn’t want him to think you were in love with him.

Because you definitely aren’t.

Right?

**Steve**: it’s getting late already. go to bed, you’re gonna need your strength for your meeting tomorrow 💪

**You**: ugh you’re right. Oh well im gonna sleep off this jet lag.

**You**: goodnight steve! 🌙

**You**: try not to miss me too bad? haha

**Steve**: goodnight y/n!

**Steve**: too bad, because i miss you already.

You made a frustrated noise, muffling it on your pillow. Damn it all, Steve Rogers. _Damn it all._

* * *

There was something about Steve Rogers that makes you feel _so goddamn uncomfortable_.

Was it the way he was standing in front of you? He’s too tall and broad that you literally have to look up.

Was it the way he was smiling too wide? He was showing off his Hollywood smile and his handsome face. This was getting ridiculous.

Maybe it was how Steve stayed close; the distance of 50 centimeters left you wondering if you want to remain close to him, or to move far far away.

His ridiculous long eyelashes? The shirt he was wearing which was a size smaller? Maybe it wasn’t even Steve’s fault you were uncomfortable. Maybe it was how bright the moon was shining. Or how quiet the neighborhood was. You can almost hear each other’s heartbeat. Maybe the world was holding its breath to see what you and Steve were going to do.

There was a line between friendship and lovers, and something deep inside you knew you and Steve had crossed the line a long time ago. The holding hands. The longing gazes. The frequent texts. The hugs. The schedules and routines that revolved around one another. The need to be closer.

One of you was bound to fall, one way or another.

The line blurs even more after Steve said the words.

_I feel like I want you more than a friend. I want to give us a shot. I really really really like you._

50 centimeters and closing. He was leaning in. The wild _thump thump thump_ of your heart was deafening. He was so close. _So so close_.

But there was hesitation. You can feel his slow and careful approach; he was giving you the space to back away. Did you want to?

You decided to end the misery and to give in. To let yourself feel. You met his lips halfway. And whatever cheesy things you’ve read in the books and seen in the movies was nothing compared to the way his lips felt against yours.

There was chaos, the loud rumble of your heart, your lungs trying to breathe in everything that is Steve.

But there was relief. There was a heavy feeling flying away from your chest. There was the calm. There was something that could lead to love.

Maybe you weren’t annoyed or uncomfortable with Steve.

Maybe you just want him more than a best friend. To give this a shot.

_You really really really like him too. _


End file.
